The Full English: Getcha Groove On

Posted Saturday, May 08, 2010 by Goal.com

For one club, the party will have started by the time Sunday evening rolls around…

I can’t believe we’re finally here. The 2009/10 season is nearly in the books. It’s gone so fast, hasn’t it? We had so many fun times, some bad times, and some “what on earth is going on right now?!” moments.

But here we are. May 7th. Two days from the final day of the season. I gotta say, there is a little itty bitty tear in my eye at the moment. Could be my unrelenting allergies...but it also could be there because I actually am sad the season is about to end.

What am I going to do for three months? Yeah, the World Cup helps...but then from July to August I’m going to be stuck watching MLS...and baseball. Yikes.

It’s alright though. I’ll survive. Will just need to prep my YouTube favorites to have lots of Paul Scholes Tackle Compilations. Entertaining for sure.

Thankfully, we have a whole day of simultaneous craziness to take on Sunday so cancel those Mother’s Day brunch plans and get your arses on the settee...the season isn’t over just yet!

On to the last bacon of the season…

The Bacon (As In Bringing It Home)

Chelsea vs. Wigan (Stamford Bridge, May 9th, 11:00 a.m. ET, Fox Soccer Channel)

A win for Chelsea in this one and it’s curtains for Manchester United in their bid for a fourth consecutive English Premier League title. A win for Chelsea and the trophy returns to Stamford Bridge were it spent nearly three years earlier in the decade.

Ohhhhh, the excitement!

Now people may say I tend to favor ManU over Chelsea, which obviously isn’t that far off. In this case though, and at this point in the season, I favor the team who has been playing better football. In this case, that team is Chelsea...by a landslide.

Carlo Ancelotti was supposed to deliver Europe. He failed at that. He will have to settle for England, and for his first year in the league (with the double still on the table), it’s not a bad haul.

Regardless if they win the title, which seems quite likely at this point, there will be some big changes in the summer as Roman already has his eyes on that London Champions League Final next season. Wouldn’t that be something?

This match though should be more interesting than most people think. If we look back at the fixture list, we see the match at the DW Stadium ended in the favor of Wigan. Yes, that’s right...Wigan beat Chelsea handily 3-1 back in September. Was quite a showing, too. Now winning at home is one thing, winning on the road is another, and then winning at Stamford Bridge is something all together different.

The Blues have the most points at home this season out of any club in the league and have only dropped two results...a 3-3 draw against Everton and a 4-2 loss to City. Don’t expect them to give much against a Wigan team who will be out to spoil their title-winning party.

My question is this: say Chelsea only get a point and United win...do they have to speed race the trophy up the M-40 to get it to Old Trafford? Or is there an impostor trophy there already?! Hmmm

Won’t be necessary though as Chelsea start the celebrations before the match and see them off late into the night.

TFE Prediction: Feeling the Blues in this one...2-1 for the title!

Manchester United vs. Stoke City (Old Trafford, May 9th, 10:55 a.m. ET, Fox Soccer Plus)

It could have been brilliant. Four seasons in the row Champions of England, with the last being the one that sends them to the top of the record books as far as most first division titles won by a club.

Sir Alex could have retired happy knowing he single-handedly stole the record from Liverpool after nearly 25 years in charge of the United. From there, Jose would have won the treble with Inter Milan, called a day on his time with those boring Italians and returned to England where he is revered as a footballing god to take over at Old Trafford.

I guess we’ll have to wait another year…

United just didn’t do enough this season to retain their crown. Five points off the pace from this stage last season, they just lacked that little bit of flair. That bronzy color. Those audacious step overs. Yes, that’s right, Manchester United miss Cristiano Ronaldo. Almost as much as I do.

I won’t put it solely on his broad burgeoning shoulders, but without him patrolling down the flanks, they are a much less dangerous team (thank you, captain obvious). I’ll give Nani and Antonio Valencia credit, they had their moments, but they weren’t a threat 100% of the time like Ronnie and they’ve paid the price for his absence. Sir Alex even said he’d pay £60 million to get him back. Why not?! Someone draw up the papers…

This game should be a good one, I think. Stoke played much better in their last few matches, beating Fulham 1-0 and drawing 0-0 with Everton. That’s the kind of response you’d expect for a Tony Pulis-led side after getting shellacked 7-0 by Chelsea back in late April. They’ll be up to the United challenge in this match and won’t roll over.

United will be too strong though and know the importance of taking all three points. If they don’t, the title returns to foggy London town.

TFE Prediction: United don’t quit and take a 3-1 result to end their season.

Arsenal vs. Fulham (Emirates Stadium, May 9th, 11:00 a.m. ET) & Burnley vs. Tottenham (Turf Moor, May 9th, 11:00 a.m. ET)

That’s right, for the first time ever, I’m combining two matches into one neat little package. Why? Well...Spurs could pull off the biggest month of their history if everything goes to plan this weekend.

First they beat Arsenal. Then they beat Chelsea. Then they took fourth and a Champions League spot. Now they can amazingly steal third place from the Gunners if Arsenal lose to Fulham and they beat Burnley. Wow. That’d make for one hell of a DVD collection.

Personally, I really can’t have an opinion on the matter. If I say I want Spurs to pull it off (which, I would never admit to) then Arsenal fans would crucify me. If I don’t root for Spurs, well, no Tottenham fans read this anyway, so no matter.

It’s just good that this story line is about because if it were just Chelsea-ManU, well, that’d be a pretty boring last day of the season. All the relegation stuff is sorted, all the Europe stuff, too. Golden boot? Up for grabs...but it’ll be Chelsea-ManU again. Yawn.

So hopefully we get some interesting stuff from these two matches. Fulham will be playing their b-team which automatically gives Arsenal the edge. Actually, Arsenal will most likely start Sol Campbell and Mikael Silveste in the middle. We have a push.

All the Gunners need is a point and they’ll secure third. Spurs will also beat Burnley but it won’t be enough to pull off one of the biggest smack-your-rival-in-the-face-with-a-boat-oar scenarios in the history of planet earth. Yeah, it would have been that big.

TFE Predictions: Arsenal get their point in a drab 1-1 affair while Spurs kick Burnley down to the Championship with style in a 3-1 match.

The Toast (as in Of The EPL): The Who Needs Ya Edition

Deco, Chelsea: This Portuguese midget has been complaining all season about how he wants to leave Stamford Bridge and play elsewhere. Looks like he’s going to get his wish. Off to Brazil for you, my friend. You were a disappointment when they signed you and haven’t done a thing to establish yourself in the team, so obviously you won’t play. Ta ta.

William Gallas, Arsenal: This is one I’m a bit more upset about. Old Billy Peanuts was always fun to watch his blank expression left you a bit worried about whether he was gonna bash your head in or give your a kiss. Either way, he’s had a enough of Arsenal and with Sol boy playing so ‘well,’ they’ve had enough of him. Tell France I said what’s up. Not.

Gianfranco Zola, West Ham United: The saddest of the sad with this one. My boy Gio appears to be on his way out of Upton Park and there aren’t enough words in the world that I can write to try and keep him there. Was a disappointing season for Hammers (was it really? I’m in two minds there), and they’ll want a fresh start with this new ownership they have in place. Uh oh, the tears are starting again…

The Dressing (as in What To Wear)

Stoke Home Kit 2010/11

First of all, this picture is terrifying. Second of all, I need to buy this shirt because I’m afraid if I don’t, Abdoulaye Faye will come and beat me up. So I think you can see where this is going as far as the grade. I do like it though. The neckline is a bit deep, but the stripes with that fuzzy look is kinda neat. Something different. Yes, Mr. Faye. Ok, Mr. Faye. Overall: 8.5/10

Leicester City Update

The playoffs are here. We have Cardiff in the first round. I have never been more nervous before in my life. Oh jeez. Sunday morning, 815 a.m. ET before all the EPL matches start, I expect you as secondary Leicester fans to tune in and support my boys! That’s all I’ll say...and the fact that I love Andy King (below). COME ON YOU FOXES!

Philadelphia Union Update

Got stomped on by the undefeated Los Angeles Galaxy and now it’s off to play the defending MLS Cup Champions Real Salt Lake. It’ll be a challenge, for sure, but taking something from RSL isn’t out of the question. Just no red cards, lads! The next home game against FC Dallas is looking better and better every minute…

And Finally...The Black Pudding of the Week

The Full English: Yes, that’s right...I’m giving myself the ultimate pat on the back right now because I’ve made it through nearly two full seasons of this malarky and you’re still reading it. I must be doing something right, yes? So a big round of applause for me, the awesome, incredibly talented and exceptionally good looking writer, and to you, my amazing, occasionally smart and sometimes rude (but in a playful way) readers. It’s been a good ride…