Well-Suited: Our Fantasy Four at FIFA World Player Gala

Posted Thursday, December 24, 2009 by Kickette.com

Well, this is extremely convenient.

These four very talented footballers have agreed to be photographed together for the FIFA World Player Gala, and in doing so have created the perfect fantasy-assisting scenery.

As all women know, we’re creatures made of many different facets and characteristics. This helps to justify owning several hundred pairs of shoes, and needing to possess a different fragrance for each mood lest we be caught feeling “contemplative” and only have a “frisky and fun” scent to hand.

Which brings us back to this handy photo, containing a man for every imagined moment:

Nemanja Vidic (Man Utd): The Standard fantasy. You know, the very common fantasy where a sexy robot from a planet called Brokennose comes to earth and has his heavily-accented way with you until hip-replacement surgery is necessary.

Steven Gerrard (Liverpool): The Postman fantasy: He’s got a special delivery package with your name on it. You need to sign here to receive this special delivery package. Whoops, I dropped my pen. Works every time.

Fernando Torres (Liverpool): The PoolBoy fantasy. Quiet. Reliable. Shows up for work on time. If you’re up for the challenge and can get him to ditch his skimmer, you’ll enjoy coaxing him out of his shell/swimshorts. Don’t forget the sunscreen!

Iker Casillas (Real Madrid): The Lifer fantasy. Yup, Iker is the white dress/princess/2.5 kids loin girdler type. For those who would be happy to rub in the Rogaine as well as the massage oil until death do us part. Amen to that.

So economical and so timely during this season of giving. Thanks FIFA.